At the family birthday party, everyone had to comment on my son’s hair.
“Hey kid, when are we going to cut this?”
“You know I can get you a razor, right?”
I explained that I had offered to cut his hair, but he’s been refusing. And he normally fights hair cuts really bad, so I decided to stay out of this one. If he wants his hair long, so be it. It doesn’t hurt me. He’s the one who gets hot, not me. With all that thick dark hair, I really can’t understand why he wants it long.
This morning at breakfast I talked with him about it. Basically his point was there are some girls with really short hair, and he’s seen other boys with long hair. And he thinks boys with long hair look neat.
So his hair is a battle I’m not fighting. He wants it long, so be it.
But I’m afraid that if he goes over to Daddy’s house, someone is going to take the scissors to his mop. Dad even mentioned it when we dropped his sister off. I explained, no he’s been refusing hair cuts, this is what he wants. But I don’t know if Dad will respect that.
Monday, July 23, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
Single!
Well, I am officially part of the Singles Scene! I am averaging 2 singles events per week-end, and having a blast at it! Meeting a bunch of singles people, guys and gals.
This weekend I went to a concert in the park with my son. It was a huge event, with a bounce house for the kids, and tons of other activities. My son ran all over the place. I met a few really cool guys, and totally spaced it on getting contact info. And one of them was really neat! I’m hoping I’ll run into him again at another event.
Then on Sunday night I went to a Fireside. It’s a speaker and then snacks afterwards. That was a bunch of fun too. Had to get a babysitter though to go to that one. Socialized with people, teased some, got teased by others.
This week I have two kid friendly events planned. First of all we’re going to a Movie in the park, Happy Feet. Friday evening the Zoo will come with animals to present before they present the movie. I told my son, and he got excited. Even though Grandma took him to see Happy Feet at Christmas time, and his father owns the DVD, the thought of going for a fun time really appeals to him.
But even more exciting is the Denton Family Fun Party. Swimming, food and games, the flier says. I’m going to drive up there with another single woman from our Ward.
And meanwhile I’m working on dates too. Had an afternoon date with one guy yesterday. It was fun, but I’m not sure I’ll go out with him again. I’ll give him one more try, and then he’ll be re-classified to friend material. He’s a ton of fun to talk with though. From my online dating site, I’ve got a guy from Houston that really wants to take me out. He’s said that next time he has a business trip to this area he’ll take me to see the new Harry Potter movie. I really want to see it, but feel it’s too scary for the kids. So I’ve agreed to go do that.
I’m a busy girl, with a full calendar! And I’m so happy. No longer am I scared of social events. I feel alive and vibrant in ways I haven’t felt for a long time. And I feel pretty! (Well maybe the $250 shopping spree has more to do with the last one!)
This weekend I went to a concert in the park with my son. It was a huge event, with a bounce house for the kids, and tons of other activities. My son ran all over the place. I met a few really cool guys, and totally spaced it on getting contact info. And one of them was really neat! I’m hoping I’ll run into him again at another event.
Then on Sunday night I went to a Fireside. It’s a speaker and then snacks afterwards. That was a bunch of fun too. Had to get a babysitter though to go to that one. Socialized with people, teased some, got teased by others.
This week I have two kid friendly events planned. First of all we’re going to a Movie in the park, Happy Feet. Friday evening the Zoo will come with animals to present before they present the movie. I told my son, and he got excited. Even though Grandma took him to see Happy Feet at Christmas time, and his father owns the DVD, the thought of going for a fun time really appeals to him.
But even more exciting is the Denton Family Fun Party. Swimming, food and games, the flier says. I’m going to drive up there with another single woman from our Ward.
And meanwhile I’m working on dates too. Had an afternoon date with one guy yesterday. It was fun, but I’m not sure I’ll go out with him again. I’ll give him one more try, and then he’ll be re-classified to friend material. He’s a ton of fun to talk with though. From my online dating site, I’ve got a guy from Houston that really wants to take me out. He’s said that next time he has a business trip to this area he’ll take me to see the new Harry Potter movie. I really want to see it, but feel it’s too scary for the kids. So I’ve agreed to go do that.
I’m a busy girl, with a full calendar! And I’m so happy. No longer am I scared of social events. I feel alive and vibrant in ways I haven’t felt for a long time. And I feel pretty! (Well maybe the $250 shopping spree has more to do with the last one!)
Wednesday, July 11, 2007
Business of Aid
After reading a book on the UN in Somalia, my ideas about aid in the Third World have solidified.
For a long time, the only milk available in the markets of Nigeria was the Long Life milk produced by UNICEF. From Niger, it was sold via the black market to Nigeria. My mother was horrified to buy milk that was stamped “Aid, not for resale.” But she didn’t know what else to do. Milk was a necessity. We turned our nose up at powdered milk.
She consoled herself saying at least the people were making some money. Milk wasn’t a popular item to African people. Many adults were lactose intolerant. So the people sold what they didn’t need, and then had money to buy what they did need.
Fortunately my mom soon figured out how to make chocolate syrup and mix it into powdered milk. Because she also found UN bags of rice, wheat and other staples. It became obvious to her that the food was not reaching the people.
I never understood this. Personally I liked Long Life milk. But chocolate milk was always better. Now I realize how aid really works in these war torn countries.
First the UN has to rent a place to live, and work. They must bribe some official, or pay for their protection. And then comes the “taxes” for allowing the aid to enter the country. The convoy of aid must have protection, so more bully money has to be paid. Often the people in need are deep in the heart of the country, removed from easy access. So road tolls must be paid to get to that part of the country. The local people then explain that it’s simply too dangerous for the UN people to go to this area of the country, and they must hire local people to deliver the goods. I’m sure a small portion of the aid finally reaches the people, but in the end, the city gains the most profit.
A third world city’s whole economy can revolve around the UN. The UN might be the only industry bringing fresh money in. And that money is used to buy more guns, more bullets, RPG’s and other things.
Instead I believe in the power of business. Not big business, that’s for sure. Shell Oil, Amco and all the others have proven that they do no good. Large business creates big money, and big money brings big vultures who line their own pockets. The many presidents of Nigeria got rich, and sent their children off to fine schools. Meanwhile in the villages, parents struggle to pay tuition fees, buy school books, feed and cloth their children. The oil wealth of the country is looted. Even worse is the pollution that is spread thru the Delta region of Nigeria. The estuaries are polluted making indigenous life more difficult that it needs to be. Rumors of bribes and grafts between big business and the government abound.
In Angola, worn torn for 30 years, the diamond, and uranium mines continued to work even while the country tore itself apart. Big business was protected. They needed money to buy more guns so they made sure that at least some money could be made from the natural resources. Of course, more money could be made in times of peace, but at least they had the bullets to kill their neighbors with.
Big Business is not the solution. Small individual business I believe can bring a level of peace and stability not seen. I have loaned money to a woman in Nigeria thru Kiva. She sells sodas, and sends her kids to school. With the money I loaned she was able to increase her business. Her children are well fed, and have minimal health care. They will grow up to be self supporting individuals who will hopefully never need a leg up in society. In return, over half of the money I loaned has already been paid back.
I’m certain this woman is becoming increasingly involved in the activities of her city and country. She has more at stake now as her business grows. She’ll vote in elections, and try to prevent riots that may destroy her fledgling business.
One of my high school friends did something much like this. He and a group of alumni wanted to do something to help the country. They put their heads together and talked. These graduates of Harvard, Yale, Sanford and Dartmoth knew the history of scholarships, aid in Nigeria. Instead they decided to form a business. It involved calling cards, and Internet cafes. They wanted to give the people access to the larger world, hoping the free flow of information would help step the people up. Maybe it could bring stability to the region.
But more importantly, they knew it would have a stabilizing influence for the people who worked there. A steady job would mean so many kids in school, food on the table. The dependable income would allow these people to have homes, buy food, and so much more. In one word, Trickle Down economics. The blessing of the job would flow out to so many areas of the area.
It’s amazing, but this business idea crafted to aid the region has actually become a money maker. And Nigeria has recently gone thru their third democratic election. Accusations of corruption were rampant, but a new president is now in office.
For a long time, the only milk available in the markets of Nigeria was the Long Life milk produced by UNICEF. From Niger, it was sold via the black market to Nigeria. My mother was horrified to buy milk that was stamped “Aid, not for resale.” But she didn’t know what else to do. Milk was a necessity. We turned our nose up at powdered milk.
She consoled herself saying at least the people were making some money. Milk wasn’t a popular item to African people. Many adults were lactose intolerant. So the people sold what they didn’t need, and then had money to buy what they did need.
Fortunately my mom soon figured out how to make chocolate syrup and mix it into powdered milk. Because she also found UN bags of rice, wheat and other staples. It became obvious to her that the food was not reaching the people.
I never understood this. Personally I liked Long Life milk. But chocolate milk was always better. Now I realize how aid really works in these war torn countries.
First the UN has to rent a place to live, and work. They must bribe some official, or pay for their protection. And then comes the “taxes” for allowing the aid to enter the country. The convoy of aid must have protection, so more bully money has to be paid. Often the people in need are deep in the heart of the country, removed from easy access. So road tolls must be paid to get to that part of the country. The local people then explain that it’s simply too dangerous for the UN people to go to this area of the country, and they must hire local people to deliver the goods. I’m sure a small portion of the aid finally reaches the people, but in the end, the city gains the most profit.
A third world city’s whole economy can revolve around the UN. The UN might be the only industry bringing fresh money in. And that money is used to buy more guns, more bullets, RPG’s and other things.
Instead I believe in the power of business. Not big business, that’s for sure. Shell Oil, Amco and all the others have proven that they do no good. Large business creates big money, and big money brings big vultures who line their own pockets. The many presidents of Nigeria got rich, and sent their children off to fine schools. Meanwhile in the villages, parents struggle to pay tuition fees, buy school books, feed and cloth their children. The oil wealth of the country is looted. Even worse is the pollution that is spread thru the Delta region of Nigeria. The estuaries are polluted making indigenous life more difficult that it needs to be. Rumors of bribes and grafts between big business and the government abound.
In Angola, worn torn for 30 years, the diamond, and uranium mines continued to work even while the country tore itself apart. Big business was protected. They needed money to buy more guns so they made sure that at least some money could be made from the natural resources. Of course, more money could be made in times of peace, but at least they had the bullets to kill their neighbors with.
Big Business is not the solution. Small individual business I believe can bring a level of peace and stability not seen. I have loaned money to a woman in Nigeria thru Kiva. She sells sodas, and sends her kids to school. With the money I loaned she was able to increase her business. Her children are well fed, and have minimal health care. They will grow up to be self supporting individuals who will hopefully never need a leg up in society. In return, over half of the money I loaned has already been paid back.
I’m certain this woman is becoming increasingly involved in the activities of her city and country. She has more at stake now as her business grows. She’ll vote in elections, and try to prevent riots that may destroy her fledgling business.
One of my high school friends did something much like this. He and a group of alumni wanted to do something to help the country. They put their heads together and talked. These graduates of Harvard, Yale, Sanford and Dartmoth knew the history of scholarships, aid in Nigeria. Instead they decided to form a business. It involved calling cards, and Internet cafes. They wanted to give the people access to the larger world, hoping the free flow of information would help step the people up. Maybe it could bring stability to the region.
But more importantly, they knew it would have a stabilizing influence for the people who worked there. A steady job would mean so many kids in school, food on the table. The dependable income would allow these people to have homes, buy food, and so much more. In one word, Trickle Down economics. The blessing of the job would flow out to so many areas of the area.
It’s amazing, but this business idea crafted to aid the region has actually become a money maker. And Nigeria has recently gone thru their third democratic election. Accusations of corruption were rampant, but a new president is now in office.
Monday, July 9, 2007
Forgiving again
For the past two weeks my ex has been showing up for Church. Since he has our daughter for the month of July, thanks to the divorce decree, he has been faithful to take her to church. I'm grateful that she gets to come to church, but it does make it a bit uncomfortable for me.
Over a year ago I really struggled thru forgiving him for everything that happened between us. At that time he was showing up for church pretty regular, and it was so hard to see him each week. One week I listened to talk on being righteous to take the sacrament. It made me burn with an absolute fury to think of him participating in this sacred ordinance when he had not made things right with me, when he was living with his girlfriend while still being legally married to me. I was filled with a fury I hardly ever reach. But the next week I closely watched, and saw that he was not taking the sacrament. He simply passed the plate and took none himself.
Also the next week my Bishop let me borrow a book called the Peacegiver. It was a life altering experience. I learned that Christ's atonement had been given to my ex already. And who was I too think I could change that fact. What power did I think I had to say that no, my ex wasn't worthy of forgiveness. I actually came to realize my own sins against my ex, and I asked him for forgiveness.
Don't get me wrong, I truly repented of my sins, and I asked with a sincere heart for forgiveness both from my ex, and from my Heavenly Father. It was not an easy task. Even harder though is to maintain that Spirit.
Enough about the past, this past week I got two nasty surprises. I'm not quite sure which is worse. First of all I found out that my ex has married his girlfriend. I didn't expect a wedding invitation or anything. But I did expect I would be informed. Secondly I found out she's getting baptized.
It makes me mad to think that she is being welcomed in. After what she did to me, how can they do this? Everyone knows!
And yet this is what forgiveness is, to open the doors and let your enemies in.
I believe in the right. I believe in the power of the ordinance of baptism. I believe that when we enter freely into repentance we are truly saved. And I certainly thought this gift was offered to everyone. But right now I'd love to deny her this gift. But if me and my awful wicked thought have been found worthy to enter the kingdom of heaven, who am I to deny it to another. For all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. (Right now I'm sinning, and falling way short.) She at least is moving forward, embracing the Gospel.
We are called to live the Gospel, to live in righteousness. To quote Paul, for some it is okay to eat meat sacrificed to idols, and for others it is not okay. Each person has their own level of righteousness, and one is not better than another. We are all judged by what our Heavenly Father knows we are capable of. I am not Paul the disciple, and I never will be. I am not expected to do the things he did. All I ever can be is what God made me, any more or less would be a step out of his will. I've got to live to the highest of my potential.
And I can not judge my ex and his girlfriend by my marks of personal righteousness. What is expected of me is not what's expected of them. Only my Heavenly Father can hold them accountable for their behavior. It is not for me to judge, but for Him. So who are we to judge who should be baptized or not? It doesn't make the ordinance any less holy if it is extended to someone I think unworthy.
There is a saying I've heard, Only a fool takes offence when it is intended, and only a fool takes offence where none is intended.
Over a year ago I really struggled thru forgiving him for everything that happened between us. At that time he was showing up for church pretty regular, and it was so hard to see him each week. One week I listened to talk on being righteous to take the sacrament. It made me burn with an absolute fury to think of him participating in this sacred ordinance when he had not made things right with me, when he was living with his girlfriend while still being legally married to me. I was filled with a fury I hardly ever reach. But the next week I closely watched, and saw that he was not taking the sacrament. He simply passed the plate and took none himself.
Also the next week my Bishop let me borrow a book called the Peacegiver. It was a life altering experience. I learned that Christ's atonement had been given to my ex already. And who was I too think I could change that fact. What power did I think I had to say that no, my ex wasn't worthy of forgiveness. I actually came to realize my own sins against my ex, and I asked him for forgiveness.
Don't get me wrong, I truly repented of my sins, and I asked with a sincere heart for forgiveness both from my ex, and from my Heavenly Father. It was not an easy task. Even harder though is to maintain that Spirit.
Enough about the past, this past week I got two nasty surprises. I'm not quite sure which is worse. First of all I found out that my ex has married his girlfriend. I didn't expect a wedding invitation or anything. But I did expect I would be informed. Secondly I found out she's getting baptized.
It makes me mad to think that she is being welcomed in. After what she did to me, how can they do this? Everyone knows!
And yet this is what forgiveness is, to open the doors and let your enemies in.
I believe in the right. I believe in the power of the ordinance of baptism. I believe that when we enter freely into repentance we are truly saved. And I certainly thought this gift was offered to everyone. But right now I'd love to deny her this gift. But if me and my awful wicked thought have been found worthy to enter the kingdom of heaven, who am I to deny it to another. For all have sinned and fallen short of the Glory of God. (Right now I'm sinning, and falling way short.) She at least is moving forward, embracing the Gospel.
We are called to live the Gospel, to live in righteousness. To quote Paul, for some it is okay to eat meat sacrificed to idols, and for others it is not okay. Each person has their own level of righteousness, and one is not better than another. We are all judged by what our Heavenly Father knows we are capable of. I am not Paul the disciple, and I never will be. I am not expected to do the things he did. All I ever can be is what God made me, any more or less would be a step out of his will. I've got to live to the highest of my potential.
And I can not judge my ex and his girlfriend by my marks of personal righteousness. What is expected of me is not what's expected of them. Only my Heavenly Father can hold them accountable for their behavior. It is not for me to judge, but for Him. So who are we to judge who should be baptized or not? It doesn't make the ordinance any less holy if it is extended to someone I think unworthy.
There is a saying I've heard, Only a fool takes offence when it is intended, and only a fool takes offence where none is intended.
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Self Empowerment.
Since the Divorce is final, I've been on a self improvement streak. First Fung Shui, and now fashion. I checked out a book from the library on fashion for different body types. And came to the conclusion that I need to pick up some new clothes.
So I did that today. We went to Lane Bryant, and I got some wonderful pieces. It was expensive though, really bad! I can only do that once in a while. But the clothing that I came out with does wonders for my body.
As I was trying on the clothes my son watched. I put on one outfit and he declared me pretty. Believe me, I came home with that outfit!
If I want to be date ready, I have to feel confident about myself. I have to feel that I look good, and that I've got my life in order. I know I have alot to offer the right man, so I've got to set the bait correctly. And if I look good and feel good, I won't settle for any loosers.
PS On a side note, the girls at work follow the movement of Paris Hilton like a hawk. They caught Paris wearing one of my cute new pink pairs of shoes. I'm so thrilled to have that sort of affirmation. I don't care for Paris, but it's nice to know that my choices are that in line.
So I did that today. We went to Lane Bryant, and I got some wonderful pieces. It was expensive though, really bad! I can only do that once in a while. But the clothing that I came out with does wonders for my body.
As I was trying on the clothes my son watched. I put on one outfit and he declared me pretty. Believe me, I came home with that outfit!
If I want to be date ready, I have to feel confident about myself. I have to feel that I look good, and that I've got my life in order. I know I have alot to offer the right man, so I've got to set the bait correctly. And if I look good and feel good, I won't settle for any loosers.
PS On a side note, the girls at work follow the movement of Paris Hilton like a hawk. They caught Paris wearing one of my cute new pink pairs of shoes. I'm so thrilled to have that sort of affirmation. I don't care for Paris, but it's nice to know that my choices are that in line.
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Happy 4th of July
We started our morning off with the Ward 4th of July Breakfast. Nearly didn't happen because the park was flooded. Actually it wasn't flooded today, but the police had to be called to open the park for us. So we had breakfast with our church friends, and it was good. Followed by a swim at a family's pool. The kids had a blast. My son found a bunch of teenagers to toss him in the pool. He swam on their backs, and loved it. The teenagers are always impressed by my little guy swimming in the deep end. He's so adept, and loves it.
Other than that, we've been watching movies and hanging pictures. Watched the Italian Job, such a funny movie with the classic cliff hanger ending. And I got so many pictures hung today. Tons of wonderful family pictures now decorating our home. I keep walking into the kids room because it looks so great!
Tonight we're planning on going to the Irving Fireworks show. A friend told me how to park in the parking garage, and see the fireworks. Then I don't have to go down in the crowd with the kids. I don't have to get my feet wet. We'll turn on the radio and listen to the live music that goes with the fireworks. Sounds like a plan to me! More worried about the fireworks getting rained out.
Other than that, we've been watching movies and hanging pictures. Watched the Italian Job, such a funny movie with the classic cliff hanger ending. And I got so many pictures hung today. Tons of wonderful family pictures now decorating our home. I keep walking into the kids room because it looks so great!
Tonight we're planning on going to the Irving Fireworks show. A friend told me how to park in the parking garage, and see the fireworks. Then I don't have to go down in the crowd with the kids. I don't have to get my feet wet. We'll turn on the radio and listen to the live music that goes with the fireworks. Sounds like a plan to me! More worried about the fireworks getting rained out.
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Decorating
This evening me and my son hung art work in the kids' room. I've been slowly printing out pictures they chose to decorate their room. I go in with a hammer and nail, and hand them over to my seven year old boy. I ask him, so the eagle picture needs to go anywhere on these walls, where do you want to put it. He takes the picture, positions it a few places, and finally decides. A few wackes of the hammer later, and he has hung the eagle picture. It is so empowering to see him in control of his space. I can sense the freedom and joy he has. Not only am I letting him loose with a hammer and nail, but I'm giving him control over his personal space. I'm helping him make that personal space something he really enjoys.
Kids really like to have rooms that are fun, and reflect themselves. But they don't know how to do it. I've been helping my kids create that vision of their own beautiful space. And the more things go up in their room, the more they take pride in it. They point to certain pictures, and know they chose them. They see their choices honored in frames, and feel that they are validated.
But today what I was framing was the kids artwork. Some of them are truly amazing. And other pieces I could care less for, but the kids are proud of them. So today I got three of them framed. And my son hung them again. I was so proud of him when I looked at the area. He actually got a really neat arrangement. And I know he feels such pride when he sees his own work framed and hung just like the artistic photos we have. His work is valued as much as those.
This week I'm getting family pictures printed off. This should be really moving as I hang these in the kids room. I'm sure they're going to simply love it!
Kids really like to have rooms that are fun, and reflect themselves. But they don't know how to do it. I've been helping my kids create that vision of their own beautiful space. And the more things go up in their room, the more they take pride in it. They point to certain pictures, and know they chose them. They see their choices honored in frames, and feel that they are validated.
But today what I was framing was the kids artwork. Some of them are truly amazing. And other pieces I could care less for, but the kids are proud of them. So today I got three of them framed. And my son hung them again. I was so proud of him when I looked at the area. He actually got a really neat arrangement. And I know he feels such pride when he sees his own work framed and hung just like the artistic photos we have. His work is valued as much as those.
This week I'm getting family pictures printed off. This should be really moving as I hang these in the kids room. I'm sure they're going to simply love it!
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